Top Five Reasons Why Velour Tracksuits Should Not Be Allowed to Make a Comeback

Just when the fashion gurus were getting a fresh breath of air embracing their new pixie cuts and polka dot cocktail dresses, Juicy Couture announced that they would be making a comeback with their signature velour tracksuits after the emergence of some high profile celebrities like "Springbreakers" Vanessa Hudgens and Heiress-turned-DJ Paris Hilton were spotted donning the American Couture brand. There are reasons why certain trends die hard and Juicy Couture is the epitome of American-Walmart-Fashion. Here are the reasons why we should prevent this trend from ever making a comeback!

5. Curves are a Factor

The way the velour tracksuit is designed is to be extremely loose and comfortable, but it can have the opposite effect if it does not fit the right body type. The waistline is form fitting and the bottoms are so loose and baggy that it can be unflattering to most body types.Slender women end up looking like flagpoles, while curvier women suffer from the dreaded camel toe, because it only covers so much waist. The trick is to find the tracksuit that is made for you, but then again, why are we even trying?  

4. Colour Me Blind

Velour tracksuits come in so many wonderful brilliant colours like washed-out coral, faded brown, tacky aqua, grey, and the ever so popular pale pink. Whether it is the colour or the material, neither flatters each other. The velour material itself is supposed to have this velvety texture, but the sheer reflection makes it look as if it has been through the wash 15 times. These tracksuits looks as if they have seen better days, yet they still make it into people's wardrobes.

 

3. The Sign of De-feet

The godfather of fashion Karl Lagerfeld once said that "Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life, so you bought sweatpants". As outlandish as that quote is, he has a point. Velour tracksuits are not meant to be athletic or fancy. Women are discouraged to even try dressing when they purchase the tracksuit. Velour tracksuits attract people who are not the most fashion forward or have the best taste. The biggest trend was to tuck them in a pair of UGGs in case you were impacted by a snowstorm. Too bad most of the people who sported that trend lived in Southern California. There are several ways to conduct your physical appearance, wearing velour tracksuits should not be one of them.

2. Price Over Matter

It is one thing to convince shoppers to invest in a gaudy tracksuit, but it is another to charge them an arm and a leg for it. Since companies like Juicy Couture and Chanel endorsed the sluggish apparel, people are now feeling approval of looking like pimps and jersey wives, because their tracksuits have been branded by fashion's elite giving them "value". (On a side note, shame on Karl Lagerfeld for allowing those images of the track suits to even surface online.)  The price people are paying for some of these tracksuits, they could have easily bought a real pair of sexy high waisted jeans or a day time A-line dress. Instead the daytime attire is pink and if you want to look sexy at night, get red; you will be hotter than a firework on the fourth of July...

1. No More Subtle Reminders From Juicy Couture That It's Juicy Couture

There has never been anything more annoying than seeing the back of a woman's behind saying "Juicy"; it's degrading, immoral, and just plain wrong. Although I am using every derogatory word I know to describe this label,  I suffer from headaches daily after giving myself too many face palms when I see the most unflattering derrieres flashing that "Juicy" label. The worse part is that this label bastardizes the word "couture", because nothing says couture like a velour tracksuit with the word "Juicy" on the back. What would  great designers like Coco Chanel and Louis Vuitton say if they saw these ghastly suits after visiting our world of today? Would they re-bury themselves or join the cult? Juicy Couture had their time to shine with their trendy tacky suits, but trends come and go. There is no sense in looking at the past to bring back the tracksuits as vintage. We should pay our respect and let that trend die in peace saying goodbye to all the "Juicy" ridden derrieres.

Eggspect to Make it Yourself

When you are a graduate with a student debt, you will not have the luxury to go dining from restaurant to restaurant. Most of the time the restaurants overprice simple dishes that can made at home. Not everyone can make a poached egg, much less the hollandaise sauce. Most of the time it takes so much materials and effort that you may give up in the process and end up going to the restaurant. However, when you are reminded of what your goals are in life, you can save on the meal plus tip and attempt to make the perfect (or most decent eggs benedict) at home.

When it's made there is something magical about eating it. This particular eggs benedict made has a bed of bacon and tomato then topped with onions caramelized in bacon fat with extra bits of sauteed bacon bits. The cilantro is the finishing touch to give it a bit of that fresco feeling. The price I paid to make it was under 20 dollars and I have enough hollandaise sauce left over to make eggs benedict for myself the rest of the week or for friends who want to do brunch. The recipe was simple mix egg yolk over low temperature until it thickens, then add butter gradually eventually adding water to thin it out. Most recipes make it sound complicated, but the process is fairly simple once you understand the chemistry of eggs.You may not be able to afford all the delicacies in a restaurant, but that should not discourage you from bringing the restaurant home.

Bleaching with Pride

I grew up as a tomboy participating in tennis, swimming, and occasionally American football. My mother use to chase me around the house trying to tame my unkempt appearance and personality. As I get older, I start to gravitate more towards my feminine hygiene instincts, (they come naturally when you exit high school .) From the bikini waxes to the threaded eyebrows, there is no stopping the beauty rituals women have to endure.

There will always be an imperfection no matter how many people tell you that it should not matter. Even though it does not matter,it is still going to be there and if you have self-diagnose OCD, then that slight imperfection becomes a beauty ritual for life. Some women are prone to plucking the hairs on their chin, while others feel the need to bleach their lady staches. I just started bleaching mine recently and then I thought to myself, when did this become necessary? My mother use to always say I had a cute lady stache and my father was too busy on his blackberry to notice. I have never had any guys approach me about the subject, either out of politeness or lack of caring. So if the people that should care about my appearance do not notice, where do these ideas come from. The only answer I can come up with is your sisters. Your sister could either be blood related or soul related, but she is the one that is going to convince you to get that wax or bleach that stache or even try lazer.

 Women are the harshest critics and I found my ideas of feminine hygiene started to change as I was interacting with more women. I have spoken with other girls who have experienced this strange phenomenon of what appears to be sisterly bonding, but what is really a judging panel of America's Next Top Model. Most of them (including me) have a majority of male friends, because men's (with the exception of overly foppish gay men) knowledge of beauty products is more limited. The worst part is is that we do not do it for the boys or even the instagram pictures, we do it for ourselves, because it convinces us that we fixed a problem that was minimal to begin with. I am not asking women to start abandoning their daily rituals, because I am certainly not going to do it, but it is good to question why we do it, so that we do not seem so distracted from our true nature. Some girls pride themselves so much in these rituals that they forget how beautiful they are and that no one cares what they do to better themselves. Our only choice is to accept that these rituals are a way of life and that us women do it to make ourselves presentable. The more perfect we look, the more happy we feel,  but if happiness were that easy, why do we continue the ritual? I guess all I can leave you with is a pic of my own stache.